Radical Honesty
Last night was incredible
It was what i have been needing for so long and didn’t know how cathartic it would feel once i truly release with grace, love, forgiveness and understanding.
It was such a freeing reminder to release the constant need for control and understanding that things happen in divine timing.
Back then, i thought i was ready and he defineitly wasn’t. I was also hurt so the message was not being conveyed in love but actually quite the opposite.
I wasn’t truly healed. I hadn’t accepted what it was and i was taking accountability but not from a place of truly recognising my actions but rather from a place of victimhood. From my survival instincts and, if you believe you are a victim then i don’t think it’s possible to take real accountability.
I have a tendency of wanting to control things and people in my life. not in a conscious, malicious way, but rather in a way to fit the narrative and my view of how things should be in my world and the world around me.
Understanding this and accepting that it is a survival technique that i picked up in this journey of life and not an indication of who i am. It also brought me to the awareness that this truly is due to a lack of belief. In my case, it was a mirror to my level of faith and connection to God.
